Nothing exciting.

I am such an update flake, it's pathetic. But in the last few weeks I can't seem to focus (or sit up straight) long enough to read or write anything. It pretty much sucks.

But, thanks to Cipro (yeah, the same drug they give to people with ANTHRAX), I am feeling a little better and am not such a wallowing emotional mess these days.

I was so naive to think that the actual surgery would be the worst part of this whole process, but the recovery is way harder than I thought (or any of those fuckers at the doctor's office prepared me for). I haven't left the house for anything more than doctor's appointments or trips to my apartment to see my cats, water my plants and pick up my mail, so I am beginning to understand the life of a shut-in. It's no fun.

The biggest shock of all is that I haven't even been online (!!!) very much, and I am such a chat whore that I go through withdrawals if I am not at a computer at some point during the day. But, like I said, no focus. So I can't even chat and enjoy it (sorry, J). But once I get back home, that will change. My parents have a suckass computer, so that probably has something to do with the fact that I don't want to go near it, and once I am at home with my DSL and my own stuff, it will probably change. YAY for change!!!

---

Jason is coming to see me today for the first time since before my surgery. I am so nervous for some reason. We have talked on the phone and emailed a few times since, but this will be the first time I am seeing him. It will also be the first time I see him where nothing happens (dammit), and we have to actually sit and have conversation.

My Mom's drunker than your mom.

So, apparently, surgery makes you crazy. I have been in a pretty good mood this whole time, and Friday night, I just burst into tears, and couldn't stop. For like two hours. Then it did stop, and I was fine again. Tonight, same thing. Except it was only for like a half hour this time. Maybe it's the drugs I am on... I don't know, but I am starting to feel a little nutty (more so than usual).

I was told to blame everything on the drugs for as long as I can get away with it, so dammit, that's what I am going to do.

It was the drugs, people.



Last night I had a great evening of watching The Doors with my Mom while she got hammered, and then began to cry and tell me, "I am so proud of you for doing this all on your own", and blah blah blah. Then she started in on the same speech she gives me everytime we're alone and she's had about eight too many. "You know, I loved your [real] Dad. I just couldn't live with him." Duh. She has probably told me that 15,000 times growing up. I am 31. I get it.

It's not so fun to be sober and stuck in the room with your drunk ass Mother. All my friends think it's hilarious that my Mom's a partier.

I just think it's embarrassing. Sure it's all fun and games til you're watching your Mom hose down her third or fourth cosmo and dance to "Love Shack" like it's her last moment on Earth. It's a bad scene.

I am hoping to actually be out the Donna Reed grip my Mother has on me soon, and back to my little apartment in the hood. I haven't even seen one police helicopter since I've been here. I don't know what the hell to do with myself.

It's Alive! Its...it's alive!

Well, I am alive and survived my surgery, people.

And I am sore as fuck, man.

The last seven days have been something of a blur, due to copious amounts of every pain killer imagineable, but I can tell you I will be a happy girl once this recovery is over.

On a funny surgery note, I now have the dubious distinction of being the first patient to curse in the operating room. When the anethesiologist gave me my epidural, and they put the mask on with the gas to put me out, the nurse asked "do you feel relaxed, Andria?"

To which I replied, "Fuck yeah I am." Nice, Andria.

Who knew I could score a laugh at that moment?

Thank god I am home now, after seven painful days of bad television and annoying nurses. Although, I must admit I have become highly amused my some Mexican morning "Regis & Kelly"-type show, whose name escapes me. But it's some pretty funny shit.

I am stuck at my Mother's house for a week (god help me), since she thinks I am a complete invalid and must be supervised and catered to 24/7, which is not the case at all. But I have no choice at this point, unfortunately.

Sigh.

Someone save me. Please.

Another entry about a dick.

It's insanity over here lately. Tomorrow night I check into the hospital for my surgery so I am trying to get all my shit together since I am going to be gone for a while. Christ. I am such a fucking procrastinator. I have known this date for a month, and decided to get all my stuff going yesterday.

Smart, Andria.


In my frenzy to get things together around here, I failed to notice something that ended up making me incredibly uncomfortable tonight in a way that is NOT GOOD.

My Dad brought my Grandma over so she could give me some stuff she had bought me for my house, and she was asking where my (somewhat) new little cat, Boo, was. I looked around but didn't see her immediately, so my Grandma and I started chit-chatting about whatever minority group she is now convinced is going to bring America to its knees (Grandma was born and raised in North Carolina, and unfortunately has not let those good old Southern values of bigotry and ignorance go, but she's my Grandmother, so what the fuck can I do?). Then she said "oh, there's a little kitty!" And we both noticed that Boo was batting around some paper, and she picked it up. Well... it was a condom wrapper. This was not my finest moment, people. I know my Dad knows I am a grown woman and all that jazz, but I would prefer if my womanhood not be right in his face. I was embarrassed, to say the least. My Dad looked just as uncomfortable as I did, and my Grandma was completely oblivious to what she was holding. Neither of us said anything. I just took it and threw it away.

Oh, the horror!!


I have let the travesty and shock of yesterday sink in a bit, and I still don't know quite what to say. I really am just shocked as fuck that GW won. I really thought people were angry with the state of affairs around here.

Well, I fear for what old GW and his band of Jesus-loving zealots are going to do next. I still can't articulate what I am feeling.



So I work at the beach, and there's a lot of tv and movie crap that gets filmed there. This summer, we were severely inconvenienced by that dumb show about Orange County.

Well, this morning, when I was walking to get some coffee at Coffee Bean, I saw all the trailers at the end of the street, and all the people standing around with clipboards talking on cell phones (which is a dead giveaway of a film crew), and figured it was them again.

Great.

That was going to mess up traffic big time. Anywho, so I get to Coffee Bean to order my $5 iced vanilla crack for the day, when I notice one of the stars of a certain beach-front police drama in line. I also notice a woman who is a regular at The Bean a few people behind him. Well, he paid for his order, then the woman paid. Before she even put her change away, the coffee pimp told her her drink was ready (as I said, she is a regular, so they made her drink before she even ordered). Well, Over-Inflated-Ego-TV Star FLIPPED OUT that she got her drink before him, and he started screaming at the poor girl behind the cash register that he is the star of some show and he had to get to work, and he was there first, and blah, blah, blah. What a dick. I love when celebrities act like assholes in public.

That made my day.


So, my surgery is Friday morning, and I am going to be away from my computer for so long, I don't know what the hell I am going to do without it. I didn't even realize how attached I had become to this lovely internet until I realized I was going to be away from it.

Miss me.

A little.

Pretty please.

Speechless.

I can't express my frustration right now at the results of the Presidential race so far. I just... I don't even know what to say.

Fuck.

You want to know how bad GW is? I am completely without wit and/or sarcasm right now. Damn you, George Bush.

Stolen entry.

Well... after reading my D-Land twin's latest entry, I thought it was a nifty little way to post when you really don't have anything to say. Apparently, I wasn't the only one who thought that.

Originality be damned!! Here's my answers:

1. What is the geekiest part of your music collection?
Oh my god. I have such a broad, expansive taste in music, that I have geekiness in different genres. I like it all, people. But, I will admit to having the following: Tom Jones, Neil Diamond (he is the Jewis Elvis, after all), Kelly Clarkson, Poison, Carpenters, and a CD of musical scores by Ennio Morricone. I have like 400 CD's. They can't all be cool. And as cheesy as they may be, I listen to them all. Hey, sometimes you just need to hear "U Can't Touch This."

2. what do you eat when you raid the fridge late at night?
String cheese. Mmmm... cheese.

3. What is your secret guaranteed weeping movie?
Beaches. Every time. If I am in some store and "Wind Beneath My Wings" comes on, chances are, I'll turn into a crying ass right there. Sad really.

4. If you could have plastic surgery, what would you have done?
What wouldn't I have done?

5. Do you have a completely irrational fear?
Flying. I know, I know, my car is more dangerous than an airplane. But the question didn't ask for a logical fear.

6. What is the little physical habit that gives away your insecure moment?
Chewing on my fingernails. I don't bite them, just chew them a little. Ew. That sounds grosser than it really is.

7. Are you a pyromaniac?
I was when I was little. Then my Mom took me to the fire station, where a hot ass fireman showed me pictures of burnt kids, and whaddya know... pyromania gone. I am a bit of a candle freak, though.

8. Do you have too many love interests?
I have interests. I wouldn't necessarily throw the L word around when talking about them, though.

9. Do you know anyone famous?
Um... nope.

10. Describe your bed:
Boring. Wooden headboard/shelf thingy with a candle holder that weighs about ten pounds so I can hurl it at an intruder that tries to rape me in the night, my phone, lotion, and alarm clock. Queen size bed with white sheets and purple comforter, under a nice layer of cat hair.

11. Spontaneous or plan?
Unfortunately, I am more of a planner, with small bouts of spontaneity.

12. Who should play you in a movie about your life?
Me. Duh. As if anyone else could pull me off.

13. Do you know how to play poker?
Yes. I love poker. In fact, when I worked in daycare, I taught all those little yappy kids how to play poker just to keep them quiet. Now there's a bunch of kids in the world that can play about ten different poker games and blackjack. We used checkers as chips, and had a grand old time. Teaching small kids about gambling isn't wrong, is it??

14. What do you carry with you at all times?
MAC lip gloss, cell phone (I am ashamed to admit now), and rubber band, for emergency ponytail situations.

15. What do you miss most about being little?
I miss the fearlessness you have when you're a little kid.

16. Are you happy with your given name?
Yeah. My name is Andria Jacqueline. And I am lucky... I am named after my dad, Andrew Jackson. My white trash grandparents couldn't think of a name for him, so they just looked at Presidents' names, and chose Andrew Jackson. They were going to name him Benjamin Franklin. I don't what the fuck my Mom would have named me then. Bejamina Fracesca?

17. How much money would it take to get you to give up the Internet for one year?
That's just crazy talk.

18. What color is your bedroom?
White, with dark purple sheer curtains.

19. what was the last song you were listening to?
"Cannonball" by Damien Rice.

20. Have you ever been in a play?
No. I took drama in high school, but wasn't in any plays.

21. Have you ever been in love?
I thought it was love at the time, but now, at 31, I realize it was nowhere near it.

22. Do you talk a lot?
Probably much more than my friends would like.

23. Do you like yourself and believe in yourself?
Sometimes.

24. Do transient, homeless, or starving people sometimes annoy you?
Um.... YES. So, maybe I look like an asshole admitting it, but they really do. I get bitter and cranky when people who don't work ask me for my money.

25. Do you consider yourself to be a nice person?
Yes. Mostly. Sometimes. Depends. Ok, no.

26. Do you spend more time with your girlfriend/boyfriend or your friends?
Well, since I don't have a "boyfriend", per se, I definitely spend more time with my friends.

27. What is your ideal marriage location?
Um... nowhere. Marriage is not in the cards for this girl.

28. Which musical instrument do you wish you could play?
Drums. Tommy Lee kicks ass. And he has a real big penis.

29. Favorite fabric?
Cotton.

30. Something you love and hate?
Food.

31. What kind of bedding do you use?
Um... some cheap stuff I bought at Target, my personal Disneyland.

32. Do you tell your friends about your sex life?
Yes. Always.

33. What's the one language you want to learn?
Spanish. Living in California, I have been turned down from an assload of jobs because I am not bilingual.

34. How do you eat an apple?
I cut into four pieces, cut out all of the core, and then eat it.

35. What do you order at a bar?
Either Captain Morgan and Diet Coke or a dirty Grey Goose martini. Cause I am sophisticated and stuff.

36. Have you ever pierced your body parts?
Just my ears.

37. Do you have tattoos?
No. I thought about when I was about eighteen, when that's what all my friends were doing, but then I saw some soccer mom with a faded stretched out tattoo on her ankle, and I decided against it.

38. Would you ever admit to having done plastic surgery any kind if confronted?
Yeah. I'll admit just about anything if you ask me.

39. What's one of the "funniest" things you've ever done?
This may sound dorky. But we cracked up at the time... Kay and I used to go shopping, or run errands or whatever, and we would use foreign accents or act like we were speaking German or French or something. Ok, so it's not funny. Whatever.

40. Do you drive stick?
I know how to drive a stick, but my current car is an
automatic.

41. What's one trait you hate in a person?
People who act fake, and try to be something they're not.

42. What kind of watch(es) do you wear?
Um... a gold and silver watch with a tiny little diamond where the twelve should be. Bling, bling, baby!!

43. Most frivolous purchase?
I spent $110 at the MAC counter on lip gloss and nail polish. I couldn't pay my rent, but I looked good, and that's what it's really all about, right?

44. Do you consider yourself materialistic?
Yes. With some things.

45. What do you cook the best?
This mexican-y casserole my southern grandma made when I was a little kid. She was born and raised in North Carolina, and my whole life, she (and my mom and aunts) called it "Pola Mexicana". I didn't know until I was older and learned the Spanish word for chicken is "pollo", and that my whole hillbilly family was saying it wrong. Well, they all know what pollo means, but they still call it Pola Mexicana. Who cares what they call it... it's good shit, man.

46. Favorite writing instrument?
PaperMate Flexgrip fine point blue pen.

47. Do you prefer to stand out or blend in?
Blend in. I hate being the focus of attention, and avoid it all costs.

48. Would you ever go out dressed like the opposite sex?
Sure.

49. What's one car you will never buy?
Anything that looks like the after picture on Pimp My Ride.

50. What kind of books do you like to read?
Mostly non-fiction. Biographies, history, etc. But I like fiction occassionally.

51. If you won the lottery, what would you do?
Invest half of it, pay my bills off, pay my parents bills, buy them a house in Maui, and buy some phat-ass pad and go on MTV Cribs. Then I would hang out with P. Diddy and Ashton Kutcher and drink Cristale champagne.

52. Burial or cremation?
Cremation, all the way.

53. How many online journals do you read regularly?
Regularly, about nine or ten, but I am always reading new ones to try and find another one that is nearly as entertaining.

54. What's one thing you're a sore loser at?
Ok, here's another "I'm a giant dork" revelation. When I was growing up, my Grandma and aunts all used to play canasta, and my cousins and I always wanted to learn. When I finally did learn, I kicked ass, and now every time I lose, I throw a fit. Then I play again and exact my revenge! Muahahahaha!!!!

55. If you don't like a person, how do you show it?
I ignore them. Even if they're sitting right next to me, I can't deal with them. I don't like fake people, so I don't do it.

56. Do you cry in front of friends?
Yes.

57. What kind of first impression do you think you give to people?
Hmmm... loud, boisterous, smartass, foul-mouthed. It's a pretty accurate impression.

58. What's one thing you like to do alone?
Masturbate. I mean read, or something.

59. Are you a giver or a taker?
Well, with friends, I am more of a taker, and with men, I am a giver.

60. When's the last time you cried?
Ok, I will admit to being a lameass before I answer this. I cried on Sunday at the end of the nascar race. Jimmie Johnson won, and ten people that work for the guy that owns his car (including the guy's son, brother, and nieces) were all killed in a plane crash the week before, so when he won, they all cried and hugged and shit. It fucking touched me, alright? It doesn't take much to make me cry, actually.

61. Favorite communication method?
I do love the instant message. Or email.

62. How many drinks before you're tipsy?
Hmmm... probably four.

63. Do you think you're cute?
Yep.

64. Do you have problems changing clothes in front of friends?
Yes.

65. What's the most painful experience you've ever had?
Well, probably when my uncle died when I was 15. He was the first person I knew who died, and he was my favorite uncle, so it pretty much tore me apart. That was harder than anything I had ever gone through.

Way to end this entry on a cheery note.