New Years', schizophrenics, and anal lovers.

It's not fun being the only sober person at a New Year's Eve party. Since I can't drink for a while, I was forced into sobriety while everyone else partied. Which isn't so bad, I suppose, since I didn't wake up feeling like some rabid Hell's Angel beat the hell out of me and then tied me to the back of his bike and drug me down the road for a few miles - which is usually how my NYE hangovers feel. That I did not miss.

However, things that everyone else is laughing at just aren't quite as funny when you're not as bombed as they are. For instance, when your drunk mother pretends she's giving your best friend's husband a lap dance while trying to make out with him. Now, some of you may be thinking \"Wow, Andria! Your parents sound like fun to party with! They're way better than my stick-up-their-ass parents!\" Yeah, well, the grass is always greener, people. My Mom gets loaded and tries to kiss on DMX, Kay's husband, and my Dad gets hammered and tries to talk to anyone that will listen about ANYTHING that is long-winded, boring, and non-sensical. Oy... it's much easier to deal with when you've had three or eleven drinks.

But all that excitement was short-lived, because at 11:45 my sister Jackie called me because she was drunk, and needed me to pick her up. She and her jerkass boyfriend got into yet another fight and broke up at the party they were at. This happens about once a week. I didn't want to do it, but at the same time I don't like to hear my sister cry, and I definitely didn't want her driving. So, I spent my New Year's consoling my sister, and secretly plotting ways to kill her boyfriend and make it look like an accident. He has taken an intelligent, beautiful girl and turned her into a walking eating disorder with no self-esteem. I could yell at her about this guy til I am blue in the face, but she's 19, and as far as she's concerned, he is the only other person alive.

Thank god I am not that young anymore. Hallelujah 30's.

---

This morning, while driving back from my doctor's office, I saw a license plate frame that I didn't quite understand. The top of it said "I am not a princess", and the bottom said "I am the princess". Now... what the fuck? Am I dense? Do I just not get it? What in the hell does it mean?

Maybe it should say "I am not a schizophrenic" and then "I am the schizophrenic".

I also saw a license plate the other day that said (I swear to god) "ANLLVR". Now, I don't know what you see, but to me, someone's advertising that they love getting it in the dirty place. Which is all fine and good, I don't judge. But I also wouldn't put it on my license plate for the whole world to see.

But that's just me.