Spice up your life!

I am bored.

I have been off work since the beginning of November, and I don't quite know what to do with myself anymore. I have read every magazine and book and watched every DVD I own at least three times. I am frustrated and I want to go back to work. I never thought I would say that, but it's true. I can't stand daytime TV. I am online most of the day trying to pass the time, and even that is getting to feel mundane. I mean, how much porn can a girl look at in one day?

I watched "Spice World," for fuck's sake.

Somebody, please, help me.

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I hate reality tv. Can't stand it. Which is why I almost strangled Kay when she forced me to watch the first episode of "The Surreal Life" on VH1. After watching that, I am not quite sure what to say, except that I am ashamed to say I will watch it again. Chyna (formerly of the WWF), who has had so much plastic surgery that her face doesn't move, is drunk during the whole episode, and does what looks to be masturbating with a thigh-master.

It's a D-list celebrity train wreck. Good stuff indeed.

Dammit. I hate reality tv.

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After weeks of non-stop rain, it is FINALLY dry and sunny around here. Jesus, I didn't think it was ever going to stop. Unfortunately, because of all the rain, there are mudslides in some places, and people are losing their homes (and so far 10 people have died). Even though I made light of the rain and the retarded newscasters earlier, people are losing their homes and all of their possessions (and in some cases their lives), and that sucks.

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Yesterday, coming out of the grocery store, I noticed a woman and a pre-teen-ish looking girl arguing in the parking lot. While I was loading my crap into my car, I heard her yelling at the girl. At one point, I saw her slap the girl. Then she kicked her. I was about two rows over from where they were standing, but a bunch of people walked by them in the time that the slap and the kick happened, and nobody did or said anything, which kind of bothered me. I mean, I am not about to jump in anyone's business about how to raise their kids, but when you're slapping and kicking your kid in public, you're asking for someone to get in your face.

That someone is not me.

I am a giant pussy. I avoid confrontation at all costs. Since we live in a day when some whack jobs carry guns around with them, I decided to stay the hell out of it, but also decided that this crazy bitch shouldn't be allowed to just beat the hell out of her kid in the parking lot, either (I should tell you that at the point I decided to go in, she had hit her a few times). So I went into the store and asked for the manager.

Me: I need to speak to the manager.
Retard Employee: Is this regarding a cashier? Did you have a problem with a cashier?
Me: No, there's some lunatic beating her kid in your parking lot.
RE: Did she hit you?
Me: No, she's ABUSING HER CHILD.

So RE goes and comes back a minute later with the manager.

Manager: Can I help you ma'am? (fuck him for calling me ma'am... I am still a miss, dammit)
Me: Yeah. There's a crazy woman beating her kid in your parking lot. You might want to go out there.
Manager: Did she hit you? (the fact that two people asked me that leads me to believe a lot of people must get assaulted in the parking lot)
Me: No. She's hitting her daughter. I saw her hit her at least four or five times.
Manager: And what is it that you want me to do?
Me: Well, how about you go out there and tell her to stop? Or leave? I mean, you're the manager... aren't you responsible for what happens here?
Manager: Can you describe the woman for me? (holy shit this guy is a moron)
Me: Yeah. She's the one beating up her kid.

The manager goes out, and he talks to the woman, and she starts screaming at the manager to "stay the fuck" out of her business, and if she wants to
"beat the living hell" out of her kids, then that's just what she was going to do. The manager threatened to call the police, so the lady threw the kid into the backseat of the car, and then screamed at her, "Do you think I am made of money? Do you think I can just buy you everything you want?" Then she slammed the door shut, lit a cigarette and smoked it. After she flipped off the manager and told him to mind his "own fucking business."

Nice.