Well fuck me gently with a chainsaw.

Last night, as I was driving home from Kay and DMX’s house with my friend Briton, we realized as the only two single people left in our group, we are never going to find significant others that will fit in with our group. We are so tight-knit, especially the four of us, that trying to make someone else understand all of our little inside jokes would probably be a futile effort.

It’s hard to explain, but we are so close, and know each other so well, that other people just don’t get it. Briton has brought girls around before, and they never fit in. It’s not that we intentionally try to exclude anyone new, because it’s not like that at all, but we’ve known each other so long, that we all fit each other in this weird perfect way. Kay, and our other friend Angela, have been trying furiously to get Briton and I to get together, and eliminate the whole problem of trying to find someone that thinks the same retarded things we laugh at are funny. But the little issue of neither one of us being attracted to the other is a little problem. Plus, I know too much about him. I hear all his dirty manwhore stories. I have seen him so drunk he’s pissed himself. I sat and watched him spend $200 on lap dances because he was convinced the stripper was hot for him. Any man who’s not bright enough to realize that’s her job is not the man for me. But none of that will deter Kay from her little matchmaking schemes. She’s relentless.

I can't decide if that makes us clique-y or not, but after reading that back, it looks like we are. Like the four of us are "Heathers" or something. Heh. Well, if we are, I am not being the Shannen Doherty Heather. I don't look good in green.

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More stimulating conversation with a five year old:

RAM: TT, are you coming over here for lunch tomorrow? My Mom said she is making us lunch.
ME: That depends. What is she making?
RAM: Bend over and I’ll show ya.

Nice.

It’s probably not a good idea to let your kid hang out with you while you and all your friends are drinking all the time. They tend to pick up certain parts of the conversations that they shouldn’t. He also ends the Humpty Dumpty nursery rhyme with “All the king’s horses and all the king’s men couldn’t put Humpty’s fat ass together again.” When he says stuff like this, everyone laughs and thinks it’s funny. I don’t think it’s so funny, but since it’s not my kid, I don’t care. I just can’t wait for the day he busts one of these gems out on his kindergarten teacher in Catholic school.

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Ok… did anyone else see the band on Saturday Night Live this week? I think they were called Scissor Sister, or something like that. Well… I don’t even know what to make of them. The singer was this flamboyantly spandex-clad guy singing, and there was a fringe-y dressed chick singing with him. And the songs were terrible. Did I miss something? Did bad 70’s type music make a comeback and no one told me? Am I so old now that I am no longer on the cutting edge of music that is cool? Well, if I used the phrase “cutting edge,” then I’m probably not. Damn it.