There's no space in myspace for old chicks.

This time change has totally screwed my sleep schedule. I usually stay up pretty late anyway, but since the time change I am not even close to tired until about two. Which is not good when my alarm starts blaring four hours later.

It makes me even more of a cranky asshole in the morning than I already am.

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I was listening to The Mars Volta cd this morning, and some of the songs are in Spanish, so I have no clue what they are saying (in high school I thought it would be more fun to take fucking French for three years than Spanish. In California, there are more Mexicans than breast implants. I haven’t spoken French practically AT ALL, and I have been turned down for countless jobs because I am not fluent in Spanish. I’m so smart and practical.).

I have about a dozen cd’s that are in a language I don’t understand. I don’t know if that speaks to the power of music, or to the fact that it takes nearly nothing to amuse me.

There is a Brazilian singer my friend Jeremy turned me onto, and I understand nothing in Portugese (I at least know some Spanish…enough to order more beer or ask the for the bathroom anyway), but I absolutely LOVE the music.

Being that neither of us speak Portugese, we imagined in our favorite song, they are singing about dildos and sexual positions.

Hey, you don’t speak Portugese, either. They could be singing about that for all you know.

If I could sing, it would be all dildos, all the time.

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I joined MySpace finally, because a couple of broads in Oklahoma talked me into it.

Plus, they know what a chat whore I am, and that opens up a whole other door of freaky chatting possibilities. And since I have nothing creative to write about here, it gives me something to post for your amusement.

See what I do for you people?

I have noticed that there are not a lot of people over 30. Every profile I looked at was either some girl in a bra and panties with her best “my daddy didn’t love me. Wanna fuck me?” look on her face, or some spikey-haired guy making his best punk rock face ever. I am going to have to look around the site more, but mostly it just made me feel old.

We’ll see what happens. I trust my girls in Oklahoma, so there must be something I haven’t found yet.

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And speaking of freaky chatting, I offer up last night’s hot chat:

Glossynotbossy: hi (when I first saw this screen name, I assumed it was Jason. He has a major lipstick fetish, and likes to play around with dominance and submission)
AndriaL24: hey!
Glossynotbossy: what’s up? I like your pics.
AndriaL24: huh? You’ve seen those pics a thousand times, you retard.
Glossynotbossy: um no I haven’t. I just found your profile for the first time tonight.
AndriaL24: Oh… I thought you were a friend of mine.
Glossynotbossy: Nope… we’ve never talked before. You’re cute!
AndriaL24: Um, thanks.
Glossynotbossy: I really like curves. And I love redheads! You look like you like to have fun.
AndriaL24: Doesn’t everyone like to have fun?
Glossynotbossy: Certain kinds of fun. Yes.
AndriaL24: Ah, ok…
Glossynotbossy: What kind do you like?
AndriaL24: Um… the fun kind?
Glossynotbossy: Ever been with a girl?
AndriaL24: I fooled around a little with a girl once, but that’s about it (enjoy that one, boys).
Glossynotbossy: Would you do it agiann?
AndriaL24: I don’t really have any desire to now, but I never say never.
Glossynotbossy: I would love to fuck you.
AndriaL24: Ok... I have a question. When you say things like that to girls, how many respond with “ok, let’s fuck right now”?
Glossynotbossy: all of them.
AndriaL24: wow… you have an amazing success rate with the ladies. That makes me wonder why you’re picking them up online and not fucking one right now. How come you don’t have pictures on your profile? You must be pretty hot if all the girls give it up for you.
Glossynotbossy: I am hot. I have been told I look just like ana nicole smith.
AndriaL24: Oh, ok… no wonder all the girls give in to your advances. Anna Nicole is so hot. I LOVE girls who are vapid and incoherent. That’s so hot.
Glossynotbossy: me too. (I am guessing she was too stupid to look up vapid and incoherent)
AndriaL24: You’re smart. I can tell.
Glossynotbossy: Thanks!! I am pretty smart. So are you. Not alot of poeple online are.
AndriaL24: No wonder everyone takes you up on your offer.
Glossynotbossy: well I would be happy if you excepted it.
AndriaL24: I am more attracted to brains more than anything. The fact that you’re so smart is a real turn-on.
Glossynotbossy: good.
AndriaL24: I have to go. Re-read this conversation and employ all that intelligence you were talking about before.
Glossynotbossy: Can we talk again? I really like you.
AndriaL24: um…

Hot damn I love the idiots online.