Cleaning up America, one parking lot at a time.

Now that it’s out that that tool Pat O’Brien is a drunk and a cokehead, these (ahem, alleged) phone messages he left have made their way to the media, and they are hilarious.

He says all the filthy things he wants to do to the girl on the other end (incidentally, a girl who is NOT his wife), and then at the end, he says "I want to get a hooker. Let’s get some coke."

I love when celebrities humiliate themselves. Especially when they make their living doing some lame gossip show reporting on celebrities and their various mishaps with drugs and sex.

Is that irony?

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Last night I was going to buy some cd’s with my Mom. I was getting out my car, and a car parked next to me. The passenger took some fast food trash and threw it on the ground between our cars. My mother saw this, and got pissed.

"I think you left your trash."

"Oh, that’s not mine."

"I just saw you throw it on the ground. There’s a trash can fifteen feet away from you. Put it in the trash. Don’t let the entire world know how uncivilized you are."

"It’s not mine." This bitch was not admitting to anything, even though we clearly saw her do this. She obviously has no idea that the 51-year old, 5’3 woman they are dealing with is a lunatic, and not afraid to confront anyone, anytime. God bless my scrappy little Mom.

The lady just ignored her and walked into Tower. My Mom got mad (and this is why my mother is INSANE and sometimes lucky to be alive), picked up the trash, and followed the lady into the store, and would not shut up about how she left her trash outside in the parking lot until the bitch relented and took the trash and threw it away.

Then she told me what a crazy ass bitch my Mom is (no argument there), and that she "better watch her mouth around the wrong people." A threat?

My mom was the only white girl in a school (and neighborhood, really) full of ghetto fuckheads that kicked her ass (or tried to) pretty regularly. She doesn’t care who says something to her, she’ll come right back in their face, and she won’t back down. I know, I spent all of my teenage years trying to win battles with her, only to lose every single time. She’s like a little blonde pitbull.

The guy at Tower thanked my Mom for yelling at the chick for littering, and said that he hates that they have to take care of the parking lot after they close, so he appreciated what she did.

It didn’t get him to comp me a cd, or at least a discount on the three I bought, though. Dammit.

By the way, as if you care, I bought The Mars Volta, Muse, and Beck. The Mars Volta and Beck are fantastic, and Muse is really good, though I have only listened to it once.

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Some google searches that led to my diary:

Chick fight (I get more hits from this one than all the other searches combined)
Tramp Stamp
Bob Saget’s feet (um, eww)
Jenna Jameson’s hole
Jenna’s funbags
Hairball sex (seriously, WTF?)
C U Next Tuesday
Big black dongs
Tiny penises
Midgets on tricycles

Nice.

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How to be a player online and impress ALL the ladies:

Loser: You shaved?
AndriaL24: Hi. I am fine, thanks.
Loser: Hi. Do you shave?
AndriaL24: Never. I never shave ANY part of my body. I only date guys with a yeti fetish.
Loser: Well, do you swallow at least?
AndriaL24: Hahahahaha… you’re a real stud. Are you single? Are you hot? Hung? Dude, you suck at this. I am not going to tell you, but I will tell you that you’ll never get to find out. Now leave me alone.