Harrassed by Jesus freaks, yet again.

Inspired by my comment in Loopy’s diary yesterday, I decided to tell a story of a run-in I had a while ago with this lunatic Jesus freak by my office. Here’s what he drives:

Sweet ride, right? Here’s what he rides around the neighborhood in:

On my lunch break one day, I walked over to Trader Joe’s (a small grocery store – I don’t know if they are outside of California or not) to get something to eat. I was in the section with the prepared salads and cheeses, etc., when this guy wearing a hat emblazoned with the word Jesus all over it with gold Christmas garland wrapped around it approached me.

“Good afternoon, ma’am. Are you prepared for Jesus’ return?”

“Do I know you?”

“No, ma’am. I would just like to take a moment to talk to you about the return of our lord and saviour, Jesus Christ.”

“I am not interested. Thanks.”

“You don’t care about eternal damnation, ma’am?”

“Not particularly. I don’t believe in eternal damnation. Unless you count having religious freaks preaching to you every GODDAMNED week eternal damnation. I am not interested in hearing what you have to say. And I am only 30. Don’t call me ma’am.”

At this point, he started flipping out and screaming at me about repentance and damnation, and I think my eyes just sort of glazed over, and I started daydreaming about all the cheese in front of me instead of what this lunatic was saying.

The store manager came up, grabbed the guy’s arm and told him that he had just talked to him about harassing his customers, and that if he saw it again, he was calling the police.

After I paid for my food, I walked out, and saw Jesus Freak standing in the parking lot, giving me the Jesus Stink Eye. I thought for sure that he was going to follow me back to my office and shove that bible of his down my throat, but he didn’t. He still hangs out in the shopping center, though. Every damned day.

Those religious nuts really creep me out, man.

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We have been having weather of biblical proportions lately here in So Cal. Pouring rain, thunder, lightening, heavy winds, mudslides, and even funnel clouds in some areas.

Yesterday more fucking rain came towards the end of the day yesterday, and it was just pouring. Then these huge thunder claps happened, that literally shook our office building. About a half hour after that, a fucking EARTHQUAKE.

I do not handle the earthquakes well. At all. In fact, I usually have a horrendous panic attack whenever there is an earthquake anywhere in California, because I then become convinced “the big one” is coming, and we’re all going to die.

Anxiety is a motherfucker. Isn’t it great how your own precious mind can mess with you?

I want the sun to come out again. I am starting to understand why Seattle has such a high suicide rate.

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Ok, so I know at this point you're all probably saying, "But Andria, what stupid fucking thing did Celestia do today?"

Well, calm the fuck down and I'll tell you.

I was working at my desk, and she yelled down the hall, "Andria, I'm going." Which is what she tells me every day when she leaves the office for the day at 4:30. I looked at the clock on my computer and realized that it was 3:30. I figured she must have had an appointment that I forgot about, and I went back to working (ok, that's a lie... I haven't had shit to do at work lately, so mostly I just read diaries, chat, and check my email... it's so boring I can't stand it. Email me. Tell me something dirty. I need the excitement).

About a half hour later, Celestia called and said she realized she left an hour early, thinking it was time for her to go.

What a big dumb ass.