Andria: Social Retard.
I am… so lame.
One of my favorite co-workers, Chris, told me that one of his friends was going to be coming by the office, and for me to let him know when he gets there (I work at the front desk).
When the friend, Greg, got there, Chris was nowhere to be found. Which meant either Greg was going to have to come back, or sit in the front and wait. He decided to wait. As soon as he sat down, his cell phone started ringing.
The first thing I am attracted to in a man is intelligence. I don’t care how good looking a guy is, if he has no brain, he’s useless to me.
I was half working, half eavesdropping on his phone calls, and overheard things like, “main propulsion system”, “hypergolic (sp?) propellant”, and “transonic”( I am such a dork that I wrote some of the things he said down, so that I could look them up). Listening to these phone calls, with all his brainy talk and the jokes he made (sense of humor is #2), I was digging this boy.
So, as soon as he got off the phone, I asked him if I could get him something, and started a ridiculous attempt at small talk (I should take this moment to let you all know that I have NO GAME when it comes to talking to men I am interested in. It’s pathetic). He made some comment about how bored I must have been listening to him talk to his co-workers, and I said in my best smartass voice, “Yeah, what are you, some kind of rocket scientist?” Funny, right? Not so much.
“That’s not the technical term, but yeah. That’s pretty much what I am.” Then he explained he worked in the aerospace industry as some sort of engineer with about 18 big words in the title that I can’t remember.
Before I even knew what the fuck I was doing, I was giggling like an ass, and flipping my hair. FLIPPING MY FUCKING HAIR!! Who does that? I wasn’t working, wasn’t paying attention to anything that was going on except the conversation I was having with this guy (that and the mass amounts of hair flipping). I also failed to notice the phone ringing, because my boss walked up to my desk and told me three calls had come in, and why wasn’t I answering them?
Needless to say, Greg noticed all the flirting going on, and told Chris about it when he did finally see him. Chris hasn’t let me forget, the fucker. And, oh yeah, he’s also married.
Jesus, it’s been so long since I’ve been with a man that I have lost all respect for myself.
I am… so lame.
One of my favorite co-workers, Chris, told me that one of his friends was going to be coming by the office, and for me to let him know when he gets there (I work at the front desk).
When the friend, Greg, got there, Chris was nowhere to be found. Which meant either Greg was going to have to come back, or sit in the front and wait. He decided to wait. As soon as he sat down, his cell phone started ringing.
The first thing I am attracted to in a man is intelligence. I don’t care how good looking a guy is, if he has no brain, he’s useless to me.
I was half working, half eavesdropping on his phone calls, and overheard things like, “main propulsion system”, “hypergolic (sp?) propellant”, and “transonic”( I am such a dork that I wrote some of the things he said down, so that I could look them up). Listening to these phone calls, with all his brainy talk and the jokes he made (sense of humor is #2), I was digging this boy.
So, as soon as he got off the phone, I asked him if I could get him something, and started a ridiculous attempt at small talk (I should take this moment to let you all know that I have NO GAME when it comes to talking to men I am interested in. It’s pathetic). He made some comment about how bored I must have been listening to him talk to his co-workers, and I said in my best smartass voice, “Yeah, what are you, some kind of rocket scientist?” Funny, right? Not so much.
“That’s not the technical term, but yeah. That’s pretty much what I am.” Then he explained he worked in the aerospace industry as some sort of engineer with about 18 big words in the title that I can’t remember.
Before I even knew what the fuck I was doing, I was giggling like an ass, and flipping my hair. FLIPPING MY FUCKING HAIR!! Who does that? I wasn’t working, wasn’t paying attention to anything that was going on except the conversation I was having with this guy (that and the mass amounts of hair flipping). I also failed to notice the phone ringing, because my boss walked up to my desk and told me three calls had come in, and why wasn’t I answering them?
Needless to say, Greg noticed all the flirting going on, and told Chris about it when he did finally see him. Chris hasn’t let me forget, the fucker. And, oh yeah, he’s also married.
Jesus, it’s been so long since I’ve been with a man that I have lost all respect for myself.
When I wasn’t humiliating myself trying to get laid, I heard Celestia tell Princess that she gave her poor sucker of a boyfriend six months to put a ring on her finger, or it’s over. If he buys that crazy bitch a ring, I am going to go over there and rip his balls off myself.
And, by the way, she cried yesterday because she realized that she was going to have to use some of the money she got after her mother died (whose final stages of cancer really “wrecked” her “whole summer”) to pay off her maxed out credit cards.
The irony of it is, that she maxed out her credit cards because she buys dozens of $300 bikinis to wear to the river every summer. They were going to take her inheritance to buy a boat to take to - you guessed it - the river. I love it.
I don’t know if that’s technically irony. I’ll have to ask Alanis Morrissette.
When I wasn’t humiliating myself trying to get laid, I heard Celestia tell Princess that she gave her poor sucker of a boyfriend six months to put a ring on her finger, or it’s over. If he buys that crazy bitch a ring, I am going to go over there and rip his balls off myself.
And, by the way, she cried yesterday because she realized that she was going to have to use some of the money she got after her mother died (whose final stages of cancer really “wrecked” her “whole summer”) to pay off her maxed out credit cards.
The irony of it is, that she maxed out her credit cards because she buys dozens of $300 bikinis to wear to the river every summer. They were going to take her inheritance to buy a boat to take to - you guessed it - the river. I love it.
I don’t know if that’s technically irony. I’ll have to ask Alanis Morrissette.
posted by andria @ 9:19 PM
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