At least I'm not the nerdy guy.

With the Pope dying, I have seen crying Catholics everywhere I look. I mean, I guess I understand that he’s their leader and what not, but I don’t get it. It’s not like he’s Elvis or something.

I have a problem with most religions in general, but Catholicism is pretty high on my list. With the rules of this church, you pretty much just have to miss mass one Sunday and you’re going to hell. No birth control. No masturbation. No premarital sex. But, if you happen to be an ordained man of God, by all means, sexually assault every young boy you see. And don’t worry, because JP II and his minions of Jesus are going to pay people off and make them go away, or they’ll just quietly transfer you to another church. Fresh meat!

It makes me sick.

I have had this discussion with other people who are religious, and they accuse me of being weak, and not wanting to live my life by any rules that may make my life more difficult or inconvenient. That, without religion, my life would be unfulfilling, and lacking in morals and decency.

Well, I have never killed anybody, never stolen from anybody, I am not stuck in some baby-making marriage that makes me miserable because I can’t get divorced, I go to work everyday and pay my taxes, I don’t sell crack and porn to little kids, I don’t kick puppies, I drive the speed limit (ok, sometimes I drive the speed limit), and oh yeah – I’ve never molested a fucking child. And I have managed to achieve these things without the help of organized Christianity.

I don’t look down on people who practice their religion of choice (except for the Mormons and Scientologists, of course!), because I feel like if faith in whatever god you believe in is what gets you through the day, then by all means, worship away.

Just leave me the fuck alone about it, and don’t act like you’re better than me because of it. Thanks.

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Wow… yesterday I talked about AIDS, today blowjob lessons from gay boys, and now religion… who says this diary has no substance!?

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Ok, so I have done some digging recently, and was looking through some of my old journals from when I was younger. Here is a little piece of Andria, circa 1987. I didn’t choose this one because of anything in particular, it was just the first one I read. As you can see, I have been foul-mouthed my whole life:

“I fucking hate this school. I don’t feel like I am ever going to fit with the people around me. Even though I have a lot of friends now, I feel weird around them, and I think it’s all going to change when we start high school in Sept. I don’t think it can get any worse. Me and John are going to Depeche Mode next week. I am so excited!!! I hope it’s as good as last time. I think John may try to rape Martin Gore if given the chance. I don’t care what happens as long as they sing People are People and Everything Counts. I love that band. I hope John doesn’t embarrass us like he did at the Madonna concert. He snuck out last night and spent the night at my house. Today in Wessock’s class, we were talking about which Breakfast Club character we were. I said I didn’t think I was anybody in that movie, but they all told me I was like the Judd Nelson character. What???? And then they said it’s because I goof off all the time, never do my work, and make jokes to the teacher. I told them they were wrong. Am I that guy? Am I the class clown? Or the reject? I guess it’s better than being the nerdy guy. I still don’t think I am like anyone in that movie.I said I am more like Wendy in St. Elmo's Fire. But I just said that because she does it with Rob Lowe at the end. He is such a total babe! Klundt took the essay I wrote on To Kill A Mockingbird and told me it was the best paper she’s gotten for that book. She told me I should take a summer school class for advanced English and creative writing. No way! I am not signing up for summer school. All I want to do this summer is swim in John’s pool, go to the mall, and go to the beach. I don’t want to think. I want Antone to ask me to grad.”

I was brilliant and eloquent even then.

I am such a fucking dork. I can’t believe I said, “at least I am not the nerdy guy.”