Surgery flashback.

This morning, cleaning out my bedroom closet, I found a bag that I had with me at the hospital in November when I had my surgery. It was still full of the crap I stuffed in it while I was in the hospital.

Looking through the bag, I found a bunch of stuff I forgot about. There was some clothes, a ton of magazines, my Carmex, a beautiful journal that my friend Jen got me for my birthday, and a stack of "get well" cards I had received, as well as a ton of medical tape I swiped (I blame the drugs. I have no idea what I would need all that tape for), and about 20 cans of protein drinks. Yeah, they should be real tasty after sitting in a bag in the back of my closet for eight months. Yum.

I started flipping through the cards, and I must have been really doped up, because I didn't remember getting most of them.

I looked in the journal, and there were only a few entries, all from my first hospital stay.

11/4/04

The night before. I am all alone now in my hospital room, waiting like crazy for this fucking castor oil to start working. And... it's not. Which means I have to drink ANOTHER bottle of this vile shit tonight. I am beginning to realize the full gravity of what it is that I am doing. I can't even describe how major this is. This next week is going to be really hard for me. I am excited. I am scared. I am nervous. I am antsy. I am fucking hungry.

11/5/04

Post-op.

Fucking sore.

11/6/04

I saw my incision for the first time today. It looks gross. Kind of like hamburger meat. It's long. Like eighteen inches. That should make for a nice scar. My nurse Nolan is hot. I almost got to get my NG tube out today, but I can't. I had to drink that fucking barium again today.

Drugs are good.

I am sore. I can't sleep for more than an hour at a time, and half the time when I'm awake, I don't what I am doing or saying or watching or hearing. Like now. All the nurses aides are Phillipino. I wonder why.

Fuck. Here comes that whore from PT. Time to walk.

11/7/04

I think I love Nolan. I want to marry him. And have his little half-Japanese babies. They would be Japanese, with red hair and freckles. What a sight that would be.
My Grandma is driving me crazy. I wish people would stop calling me all the time. I wish I could sleep for eight straight hours without someone coming in here all the time. I hate hospital television. I hate Kelly Ripa. I don't know how anyone can watch that show. I wish people would stop calling.

I get my foley out today. Thank god. I'm tired of peeing in a bag. All I want is some fucking water and I can't have any until this NG tube comes out. I get one spoonful of ice chips per hour. I miss Diet Coke.

11/8/04

Fuck yeah. No more tube in my nose. My doctor makes his rounds at three in the morning. He does surgeries at 7:30 a.m. I am glad I found out his schedule AFTER he opened me and cut up my insides. If I knew he slept two hours before he operated on me I would have flipped out.

I wish people would stop calling me every five minutes. DB brought a giant wooden rooster to my room. He brought me cock. Ha. I'm so funny. My friends are whacked. I hate most of the nurses here. Mostly because they're not all super hot and nice like Nolan. I love Nolan. Plus he gives me extra drugs when I ask for them. Like a few minutes ago he just juiced up my central line and I feel pretty good right now. I'm sick of this Norah Jones cd. I've listened to it ten times today, just so no one would talk to me if they saw me with headphones on.

Drugs are good.

11/9/04

Dr. Klein told me today that if I don't get gassy and take a shit soon, I am in trouble. It also means I have to take a suppository. NO THANK YOU.

Dear God: Please make poop shoot out of my ass. Thanks. Love, Andria.

11/11/04

Suppositories suck.

Klein took my JP drains out today. That was a weird thing, watching someone pull two two-foot tubes out of my body. But I am glad they're out now. They also took out my epidural. Awww. Bye-bye joy buzzer.

11/12/05

Since I didn't need suppositories yesterday, I get to go home today. Thank god. I want to take Nolan home with me. I'll miss my hot nurse. I have to give myself shots every day. I haven't done that in a while. I also got a big bottle of dilaudid. Weeeee!!!!!!!

I thought this week was going to be really hard and painful. But it wasn't. I had drugs, yeah, but it wasn't bad. I got myself dressed today and tied my own shoes, so I think I'm doing pretty good considering my entire abdomen is cut in half. Not really looking forward to staying at Mom's house.

The funny thing is, that week at the hospital would be the EASIEST time of my post-op experience. Because the three months that followed were a FUCKING NIGHTMARE.

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The Greek Festival was a fiasco. I'll get into it next time.