A message to you, Rudy.

A few of my Irish friends, Keith, Colm, and Fergal were hanging out at a pub down by the beach, and called me up to see if I wanted to join. Well, poverty is a motherfucker, people, so I declined. I was then assured that all drinks would be comped, as Colm's girlfriend would be bartending. Most excellent.

Yesterday was the perfect day. The weather was fantastic, the breeze off of the ocean was nice and cool, and I was hanging out with friends I don't get to see much anymore, since I don't drink six days a week like I used to (those damned Irish are hard to keep up with - my liver can attest to it). I wish I had my camera, so that I could have taken pictures and made all of you non-California suckers jealous, but I didn't have it.

I was drinking snakebites (snakebites = Guinness over cider = hella good = Andria drunk), which are both good and bad. They're good because Guiness is pretty much the best.beer.ever., but they're bad because (at least for me), when I drink them I am perfectly fine one minute, and then I am shitfaced the next. There's not much of a buzz build-up. Well, after a few of them, I don't have to tell you what state I was in. I was talking all kinds of shit about everyone. It's a good thing the people around are too vapid and moronic to realize I was making fun of them.

That is why I avoid the beach bars most of the time.

In my haze, I managed to forget that on the weekends, Celestia and her dumb ugly friend Butterface roller skate around the beach and go to all the bars in their bathing suits. Well, we were sitting outside, and Keith said, "Hey, Andie, isn't that your girl over there? [Celestia]?" I turned around, and what I saw made my jaw drop, and made me thank Jeebus that I was there to witness this fantastic fucking moment. Coming toward me were two girls, with roller skates, shorts, and white t-shirts with pink collars and pink trim around the sleeves, and emblazoned accross the front, in bright pink glittery letters: TOSSER.

So, Celestia and Butterface came up, and started talking to us. The whole time, the boys were laughing under their breath, making little snide comments here and there.

"So, you two fancy yourselves a couple of tossers, eh?" Keith was not going to let it go.

"Well, I didn't know what it meant until Andria told me, and I thought it would be cool to have a shirt that said it. I have never seen one before, so we thought it would be different."

"I'd say you're more of a tosspot than anything, but tosser is good, too." FYI, a tosspot is a an idiot, or a fool.

"Huh? I don't know what that is. Is that good?"

"Oh, yeah, of course it is... I am just taking the piss out of ya."

"Uh... huh? Ok... Well, we're going to go to Shark's Cove. See you guys later." Then she and Butterface skated off, and the boys laughed hysterically.

"Andie, you know you're going to hell, right?"

That dumb bitch hung out at that Irish bar, too. I don't know how she never picked up any of the slang. For about two seconds I felt guilty that I have taken such pleasure in making an ass out of her. But it went away pretty fast.

I am a nice person.

Mostly.

After hanging out with them all day, I look like a complete retard because later on when I get home, I hang out with my sister, and say things like, "That's a load of bollocks," or "Celestia's getting on my wick," etc.

If you don't have the accent, it's not quite the same.

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I watched Behind The Music on New Edition today, and... oh, boy. I read somewhere (I can't remember if it was another diary or not) that it looked like Bobby Brown had a stroke by the way he was talking, and whoever said it was right. One side of his mouth looked paralyzed. Crackhead.

Perhaps one of the finest moments in television history occured on that program when he looked into the camera and challenged the New Kids On The Block to reunite and try to be as successful as New Edition were. Goddamn it, I can't remember exactly what he said. But there was much dramatic pausing and whispering going on.

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Ok. So is anyone else as creeped out at Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes as I am? I am not a Tom Cruise fan, and I don't see what the big deal is with him (except for Top Gun - that movie is total girl porn). They just don't fit. I mean... when he was a teenager, he was in Risky Business. When she was a teenager, she was on Dawson's Creek.

Gross.

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I hate exercise. Well, I hate forced exercise. And, since I have to do it every day, I am trying to learn to love it (and not having a lot of luck). Usually, I get on my treadmill, and if I find something good on tv, I find that I don't pay attention to the treadmill and do it longer than if I wasn't as interested in what I am watching. Well, I think I may have found the best motivator to keep my ass on that damn machine: Super Size Me. I have seen this documentary before, but watching it while treadmilling was highly effective.

If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it. It didn't turn me off of McDonald's because a book called "Fast Food Nation" pretty much sealed that deal for me a few years ago. I used to eat fast food (McDonald's and Taco Bell especially) on an alarmingly regular basis, and no one I knew could believe how easily I could just stop eating it. Read that fucking book, and you'll know how.

I eat it rarely, and if I do, it's only from a few places. The golden arches not being one of them.

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Today, Kay decided to throw a little nascar bbq. Save the white trash jokes. I have already admitted repeatedly in this journal to being of the trailer park ilk. She told me I was in charge of making a good summertime-ish backyard cd. Her husband, DMX, usually rams Toby Keith and Tim McGraw down our fucking throats at these things, so I was happy to get to play dj.

So... I figured a reggae/ska cd was good bbq faire. At least for me, it was. My friends have no goddamned musical taste whatsoever. They all hated it. Fuckers. How could anyone hate Bob Marley? Seriously?

They're so unwilling to give the unfamiliar a chance. You should have seen their faces the night I brought over Amelie to watch. I hate that about my friends.

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The Family Guy returns!

Weeeeeeeee!!!