Striving For Mediocrity: Trailer Park tales.

So, RDC wants to hear more white trashy stories about my family. Oh, dear. I do believe I could go on for days about them. But, I will offer up this little installment in the saga that is my family. Deb, the second cousin that died, has one sister, C, and two brothers, T and LJ.

LJ married a woman about 25 years ago, and they started popping out kids. Their first son dropped out of school around 14, and was in trouble all the time. He was suspected of sexual assault (yeah, I know), but was never convicted. About two years later, he was thrown in jail for stealing a car and beating some guy nearly to death. He was sharing a cell with a guy of about 35, who was convicted of murdering a little boy in a park. Deb, who was writing to JJ, started corresponding with the cell mate and ended up marrying him.

Apparently, that pesky little "child-killer" thing didn't seem to bother her.

JJ has two younger brothers, and one younger sister. One of his younger brothers, K, was arrested over and over and over before he was even 18, for assault, vandalism, theft, and a bunch of other shit. Almost all his crimes were committed against minorities, because he's a raging skinhead. Nice, right? His younger sister, J, got knocked up at fourteen, and had a baby that had its lungs almost on the outside of its body (I can't remember the exact name for it, or all the details, but that's the jist of it), so she left in the middle of the night because she didn't want to take care of the baby.

It's a good thing hospitals never ask for any pertinent information when you check in to have a child. Because then they might catch you when you try to abandon your baby. It was an ordeal, and LJ and his wife ended up taking the poor sickly little baby (who sadly, did not live - although I don't think that kid necessarily lost out on much of a life, I hate to say), while their teenage daughter ran the streets doing whatever - and whomever - she chose.

Ok. That's all you're getting for tonight. Maybe next time I'll tell you about my thug/cousin who stabbed someone and then ran him over with a car. Or my uncle who married his dead brother's wife, becoming his neice and nephew's stepfather, and then knocking up the wife, giving birth to their half-sister/cousin.

I hope that made sense.

The only comfort I get from this is that the really bad people are second and third cousins, and my immediate family, while they might be uneducated and tasteless, are still good people.

It seems that Celestia and her friend Butterface (the co-tosser) are in the midst of a little tiff, because Celestia asked me not to put her through when she calls. And, as fun as it is for me to keep putting her in the voice mail every time, the last few times she's called she was a total bitch to me, and, well, Homey don't play that. So I sent Celestia an email telling her that she needs to settle her fight, because dealing with her ugly, bitchy friends is not in my job description.

Thinking that she was going to get me in trouble, she went to HR Boss and told her that I was making demands on whose calls I would take or not, and that I need to mind my own business. HR Boss promptly explained to her that since personal calls are frowned upon (not really, but she just said that to be a bitch to Celestia), asking me to handle them special was outside of my job duties, and in effect, distracting me from taking calls relating to the business of our office.

Guess what happened?

Come on, you know what she did.

That's right. She cried.

At least it's never dull with her around.

Lots of pictures to load. Sorry.

I stole this from Dixie. Look up the following on Google image search:

The age you will be on your next birthday:

The place you live:

That's also the church where RAM was baptized, which is another fun story of when trashy people reproduce.

Your favorite color:

When I was a little girl, I wanted my name to be Violet, because it was the color of my favorite crayon. Well, that and 'Purple' wouldn't be a very good name.

The place you want to get married: