Damn dingy broads.

I am an update slacker, I know. I just haven't been feeling all too funny recently.

Here's a feeble attempt at an entry.

I am not a shallow person (well, not usually). I have said many times before that a man's mind is what really gets me going. However, I am a horny sexless (dammit) woman, so I am not immune to physical beauty. And, it just so happens that firemen get me going. Big time.

I was sitting at a light the other day on my way home from work. On one corner of the intersection is the fire department. I usually cast a lusty gaze whenever I drive by, but I rarely see anything going on. However, on this day, I saw something magnificent. I saw four SHIRTLESS firemen washing the trucks.

Four firemen. Sans shirts.

Oh.My.God.

I don't have to tell you the amount of drool that was running down my chin, or the various parts of my body that were responding to the sight of four gorgeous men without shirts. In fact, I was so mesmerized at the sight, and so lost in my hot, dirty firemen sex fantasy that I completely forgot I was sitting in my car, stopped in traffic.

Luckily, the blaring horns of the cars behind me were kind enough to remind me that the light was green, and I needed to get my ass (and car) in gear and drive.

I got flipped off my a huge guy (incidentally, also shirtless, though you'd never know it by the amount of body hair he had) in a truck who called me a "dingy broad driver."

I felt just like Vera on "Alice" when Mel called her dingy all the time.

So I told him to kiss my grits.

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Well, even though he probably thinks I'm a dirty whore, having my Hot Mailman (who, is not so hot now that I've seen how he lives and his speed-freak girlfriend) live next door has its perks.

For instance, a friend sent a package too big for my box (hahaha... god bless sexual postal innuendo), so he kept it in his apartment so that none of my ghetto neighbors would steal it, and then he gave it to me when he got home. I am sure that is a violation of several postal regulations as well as some law, but I was glad nonetheless.

And now that he lives there, and I see what tweekers he and his girlfriend appear to be, his hotness is totally gone now. But at least they don't bitch about my loud music or the porn movies I watch in my bedroom (which is right next to theirs) late at night.

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I still have to finish the last half of my list of crap that makes me happy. But I'm not feeling very happy right now, so I'll get to it next time.