Dandria Day and other assorted fiascos.

Oy. This weekend was hard for Andria.

Friday night, Kay called and said to come over for a few drinks and to hang out. She, The Good Girl and I were drinking dirty martinis and chatting. After about the third one, I started drinking them like they were water. Kay told me later that I drank three in a half hour.

Needless to say, I passed out on Kay's couch while we were watching some movie. And, because my friends are the assholes that they are, took my camera out of my purse and took pictures of me, passed out while DMX and DB copped a feel - which, sadly, was the most action I've seen recently.

To quote a dear friend in an email, "those grabby sons of bitches!"

When I woke up, after everyone made fun of me for being such a drunk ASS, Kay drove me home. I got into bed and passed out. I woke up some time later, with the urgent need to throw up (which I haven't done in about ten years). I ran into my bathroom, knocked everything on the shelf over, and did what I had to do. I didn't notice when I ran in that I knocked over the tube of Frizz Ease that I put in my hair, and it squirted out all over my bathroom floor. Whatever silicone crap is in that stuff won't come off the floor, and it's like an oil slick in there. Great.

Saturday I woke up disgustingly hungover and feeling like shit. I have not felt this bad from drinking in a LONG time, mostly because I don't drink like that anymore.

That evening, a group of us went to this restaurant/brewery for this "tapping party" (hehe... that sounds dirty)that DMX won in a silent auction at RAM's school. Briton, one of my best friends, brought his new girlfriend, who I am not particularly fond of because she is incredibly domineering and commands all of Briton's time and attention (I hate these kind of girls). I noticed over the course of the four or five hours that we were there, that every time she had to go to the bathroom, she made Briton go with her, and wait outside for her.

Our waiter, Josh, was super cute. I wasn't really drinking (though I did have one pint of IPA - hair of the dog, as they say), so I was mostly drinking diet coke all night. After about the fourth refill, he jokingly said, "I am going to have to cut you off after this one. You're driving, you know." He smiled, and then I went all dopey and gooey, as I always do when cute boys talk to me, and I just smiled back. I said something dorky, but I can't remember now. I just remember smiling my ass off every time he came to our table, and giggling like a moron every time he joked with me.

We are SO going back there.

After the brewery, everyone else decided to go to the old bar we used to hang out at, which was down the street. Because I was tired, and because that bar is now patronized by thugs and punks since it was sold by the greedy owner, I went home. About forty minutes later, Kay called me from the bar, and asked me to come and pick them up, because some huge Samoan guy punched DMX in the eye. It was a total sucker punch, and for no reason. Shit like that happening is why we don't go there anymore.

That put a big damper on the fun mood for Dandria Day, the holiday DMX and I created a few years ago, mostly to have an excuse to start drinking early on Sunday. But, black eye be damned, DMX called me early this morning to get over there and start the festivities. Kay and I were recapping the events of the night before, and we started talking crap about Briton's new girlfriend.

Flash to later in the day, a bunch of us were hanging out in the backyard. Me, Briton, the New Girl, The Good Girl, DB, and RAM. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, that little shithead RAM says to New Girl, "And you were in the bathroom and Briton had to wait outside."

Dammit. That little fucker was ratting me out.

Briton: What'd you say?
New Girl: Huh?
Briton: Uh-oh, someone's been talking...
RAM: You made Briton go with you to the bathroom and wait outside for you to get done every time. TT told Mom and Dad.

I have no idea what expression was on my face, but inside, the urge to punch a five year old was strong.

New Girl(to RAM): Well, I had never been there before, and didn't know where the bathroom was.
Andria: Have you guys tried this drink? It's really good. You should try it. Don't you love this Foo Fighters song? Man, it's hot today. Are you guys hot?
RAM: I just know what TT said.
Andria: RAM, you don't know what you're talking about. That's not what I said. (Yeah, it is) You're crazy.
RAM: You said that to Mom this morning when you were watching the race. You said she went to the bathroom and he had to go with her. Don't you remember?

So, things were a little uncomfortable for me after that. I half-expected her to say something to me about it, but she didn't.

Later on, I was in the kitchen telling Kay what a little rat her son was (while she laughed) when RAM walked up and grabbed onto my leg.

"You're on my list kid, watch out."
"Oh, yeah, you're on my list, too, TT."
"You're only five. You don't have lists yet. You can't even spell list."
"Oh, I have lists. You're on the list, TT."

I guess that's what happens when your kid grows up around a bunch of smartasses.

---

I got tagged by Blue Meany to answer these questions using only song titles from one band. I chose Garbage.

Are you male or female:
Stupid Girl
Describe yourself:
Untouchable
How do some people feel about you:
Shut Your Mouth
How do you feel about yourself:
So Like A Rose
Describe your current significant other:
#1 Crush
Describe where you want to be:
As Heaven Is Wide
Describe what you want to be:
Supervixen
Describe how you live:
Happy Home
Describe how you love:
Til The Day I Die
Share a few words of wisdom:
The Trick Is To Keep Breathing.

I am not going to tag anyone else, because I'm a rebel like that.

BADASS.